In an office: “Toilet out of order… Please use floor below.”
In a laundromat: “Automatic washing machines: please remove all your clothes when the light goes out.”
In a London department store: “Bargain basement upstairs”
In an office: “Would the person who took the step ladder yesterday please bring it back or further steps will be taken.”
In an office: “After tea break, staff should empty the teapot and stand upside down on the draining board.”
Outside a secondhand shop: “We exchange anything — bicycles, washing machines, etc. Why not bring your wife along and get a wonderful bargain?”
Notice in health food shop window: “Closed due to illness”
Spotted in a safari park: “Elephants please stay in your car”
Seen during a conference: “For anyone who has children and doesn’t know it, there is a day care on the first floor”
Notice in a farmer’s field: “The farmer allows walkers to cross the field for free, but the bull charges.”
On a repair shop door: “We can repair anything. (Please knock hard on the door — the bell doesn’t work)”
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