Sunday, June 22, 2008

George Carlin’s Views on Aging

Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we’re kids? If youre less than 10 years old, you’re so excited about aging that you think in fractions.

“How old are you?” “I’m four and a half!” You’re never thirty-six and a half. Youre four and a half, going on five! That’s the key

You get into your teens, now they can’t hold you back. You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead.

“How old are you?” “Im gonna be 16!” You could be 13, but hey, you’re gonna be 16! And then the greatest day of your life. You become 21. Even the words sound like a ceremony. YOU BECOME 21. YESSSS!!!

But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk! He TURNED; we had to throw him out. There’s no fun now, you”re Just a sour-dumpling. What’s wrong? What’s changed?

You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you’re PUSHING 40. Whoa! Put on the brakes. It’s all slipping away. Before you know it, you REACH 50 and your dreams are gone.

But wait!!! You MAKE it to 60. You didn”t think you would!

So you BECOME 21, TURN 30, PUSH 40, REACH 50 and MAKE it to 60.

You’ve built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it’s a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday!

You get into your 80s and every day is a complete cycle; you HIT lunch; you TURN 4:30; you REACH bedtime. And it doesn’t end there. Into the 90s, you start going backwards; “I Was JUST 92.”

Then a strange thing happens. If you make it over 100, you become a little kid again. “I’m 100 and a half!” May you all make it to a healthy 100 and a half!!

How to Stay Young

1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let the doctors worry about them. That is why you pay them.

2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.

3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever. Never let the brain idle. “An idle mind is the devil’s workshop.” And the devil’s name is Alzheimer’s.

4. Enjoy the simple things.

5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.

6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person, who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive.

7. Surround yourself with what you love, whether it’s family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.

8. Cherish your health. If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.

9. Don’t take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county; to a foreign country but NOT to where the guilt is.

10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.

And always remember life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

George Denis Patrick Carlin (May 12, 1937 – June 22, 2008)

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

A Happy Birthday to Paul McCartney

Sir James Paul McCartney, MBE (above) celebrates his 66th birthday on June 18. He is listed in the Guinness Book of World Records as the most successful musician and composer in popular music history, with 60 gold discs and sales of 100 million singles.

Saturday, June 07, 2008

Scam artist's cancer 'defiles' medication

From: “Mrs. Angela White” Reply-To:

Subject: Assistance Needed
Sensitivity: Normal
X-Originating-IP: from unknown by;

Sat, 7 Jun 2008 6:24:18 +0000 To: undisclosed-recipients:;


My name is Mrs. Angela White, a business woman in London. I have been diagnosed with esophageal cancer which was discovered very late due to my laxity in caring for my health.

It has defiled all forms of medication right now and I have only few hours left to live, according to medical experts. I have never particularly lived my life so well as I never really cared for anyone not even me but my business. Though I am very rich, but I was never generous. But now I regret all this as I now know that there is more to life than just wanting to have or make all the money in the world. Now that God has called me through this way I willed most of my properties and asset to my immediate and extended family and as well as few close friends. I am going in for an operation now, and i dont think i will make it.

I want God to be merciful to me and accept my soul and so with that reason I decided to give alms to CHARITY ORGANISATIONS, as I want this to be one of the last good deed I did on earth.

I now give you the authority to dispatch my last funds to CHARITY organizations. I have set aside 40 per cent of the total amount $1,500,000.00 One million five hundred thousand dollars) for you and your time and patience for carrying out this duties. This means you will keep $600,000 (Six hundred thousand dollars) for yourself and donate the rest to any charity organisation of your choice. May God be with you as you carry out this task. I beleive with this, i can now be free to depart peacefully.

If you can render me this assistance, you can then contact my lawyer who will assist you in getting the funds to you in my absence if i die or not. He would give you more details. His name is Barr. Jasper Newman and his email address is: ( He would guide you through receiving the funds.

Best Regards,

Mrs. Angela White