Friday, February 29, 2008

Dennis Hopper's Financial Advice

Monday, February 25, 2008

Tips on Pumping Gas

[According to the author of an anonymous e-mail that's been going around for ages.]

I don’t know what you guys are paying for gasoline, but here in California we are also paying higher: up to $3.50 per gallon. But my line of work has been in petroleum for about 31 years now, and here are some tricks to get more of your money’s worth for every gallon.

Here at the Kinder Morgan Pipeline in San Jose, California, we deliver about 4 million gallons in a 24-hour period thru the pipeline. One day it's diesel the next day is jet fuel, and gasoline in regular and premium grades. We have 34-storage tanks here with a total capacity of 16,800,000 gallons.

Only buy or fill up your car or truck in the early morning when the ground temperature is still cold. Remember that all service stations have their storage tanks buried below ground. The colder the ground, the more dense the gasoline. When it gets warmer, gasoline expands; so buying in the afternoon or in the evening means your gallon is not exactly a gallon.

In the petroleum business, the specific gravity and the temperature of the gasoline, diesel and jet fuel, ethanol and other petroleum products plays an important role. A one-degree rise in temperature is a big deal in this business. But the service stations do not give any temperature compensation at the pumps.

When you’re filling up, do not squeeze the trigger of the nozzle to a fast mode. If you look, you will see that the trigger has three (3) stages: low, middle, and high. In slow mode you should be pumping on low speed, thereby minimizing the vapors that are created while you are pumping. All hoses at the pump have a vapor return. If you are pumping on the fast rate, some of the liquid that goes to your tank becomes vapor. Those vapors are being sucked up and back into the underground storage tank so you‘re getting less value for your money.

One of the most important tips is to fill up when your gas tank is half full or half empty. The reason for this is, the more gas you have in your tank the less air is occupying its empty space. Gasoline evaporates faster than you can imagine. Gasoline storage tanks have an internal floating roof. This roof serves as zero clearance between the gas and the atmosphere, so it minimizes the evaporation. Here, where I work, unlike service stations, every truck we load is temperature compensated so that every gallon is actually the exact amount.

Another reminder: if there is a gasoline truck pumping into the storage tanks when you stop to buy gas, do not fill up. Most likely, the gasoline is being stirred up as the gas is being delivered, and you might pick up some of the dirt that normally settles on the bottom.

Hope this will help you get the most value for your money.

Do share these tips with others.

Living on Earth is expensive, but it does include a free trip around the sun every year.

Sunday, February 17, 2008

How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

Charismatics: Only one (hands already in the air).

Pentecostals: 10 (one to change the bulb, and nine to pray against the spirit of darkness).

Presbyterians: None (lights will go on and off at predestined times).

Roman Catholics: None (candles only).

Baptists: At least 15 (one to change the light bulb and three committees to approve the change and decide who brings the potato salad).

Methodists: Undetermined (whether your light is bright, dull, or completely out, you are loved. You can be a light bulb, turnip bulb, or tulip bulb. Churchwide lighting service is planned for Sunday. Bring bulb of your choice and a covered dish).

Nazarenes: Six (one woman to replace the bulb while five men review church lighting policy).

Lutherans: None (Lutherans don't believe in change).

Amish: What's a light bulb?

Episcopalians: Twenty-three (Thurifur, crucifer, 10 choir members, two torches, another crucifer, two chalice bearers, an acolyte processing in with the new buib for blessing, deacon, two assisting priests, the rector, thurifur...)

I am an Anglican (To be sung to the tune of God Bless America)

I am an Anglican
I am PE
I am High Church or Low Church
I am Protestant and Catholic and Free
Not a Presby, nor a Lutheran,
or a Baptist, white with foam
I am an Anglican
just one step from Rome
I am an Anglican
so God bless me

Top Ten Reasons for Being an Episcopalian:

10) No snake handling.
9) You can believe in dinosaurs.
8) Male and female, God created them; male and female, we ordain them.
7) You don’t have to check your brains at the door.
6) Pew aerobics.
5) Church year is color coded!
4) Free wine on Sunday.
3) All of the pageantry, none of the guilt.
2) You don’t have to know how to swim to get baptized.

And the number one reason for being an Episcopalian...

1) No matter what you believe, there's bound to be at least one other Episcopalian who agrees with you.

[From Robin Williams, who is an Episcopalian]

A Jew, a Catholic and an Episcopalian were standing at the gates of Hell. Satan came out, and looked them over.

“Why are you here?” he asked the Jew. “I ate pork,” the Jew admitted.

“Okay, come on in,” Satan replied. Then he turned to the Catholic. “What are you doing here?” Satan asked the Catholic.

“I ate meat on Friday, long before His Holiness said it was okay,” the Catholic answered.

“Well, then, come in,” Satan said. Then he looked at the Episcopalian.

“Why on earth are you down here?” Satan asked.

The Episcopalian hung his head in shame as he answered:

“I used the wrong fork.”

Why can't episcopalians play chess?

Because they cant tell the difference between bishops and queens.

Why can you never find just four episcopalians?

Because there's always a fifth.

How do you get bats out of an Episcopal Church's bell tower?

Confirm them.

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

My First Album Cover — DIY

Who needs a real band, rehearsals, or a recording studio? Thanks to the power of the Internet, you can have your very first album the no-fuss, no-muss way.

1. Go to the Wikipedia random article page and the title of the article will be your band's name.

2. Go to the very last quote on random quotations and the last four words of the last quote will be your album's title.

3. Go to Flickr's "interesting photos from the last seven days" page to steal the third picture on the page.

Put them all together in Photoshop or whatever and crop it into a square to be your album cover. Post it in the Facebook group called My First Album Cover — DIY, if you like.

Wednesday, February 06, 2008

KBR Employees Sexual Harassment Case