Outside the actor’s studio

Bernard Pivot always asked his guests ten questions in the great French television series, Bouillon de Culture. And some of the finest intellectuals in the world answered them, some with great cheer, others with clear discomfort.

Marcel Proust is alleged to have enjoyed asking his guests these questions at parties.

What do you think? Do the answers reveal something insightful? Is it an intellectual exercise or the sort of questionnaire that bimbos enjoy in Cosmopolitan magazine?

James Lipton's never going to ask me. So here are my answers.

1. What is your favorite word? Archaeopteryx

2. What is your least favorite word? Obligated

3. What turns you on, excites, or inspires you creatively, spiritually, or emotionally? Cleverness

4. What turns you off? Debt

5. What sound or noise do you love? The lesser black-backed gull (larus fuscus)

6. What sound or noise do you hate? Weeping

7. What is your favorite curse word? Bollocks

8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? Artist

9. What profession would you absolutely not like to participate in? Sales

10. If heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates? “Sorry.”