Perils of Addiction

A retired corporate executive decided to take a vacation. He booked himself on a Caribbean cruise and proceeded to have the time of his life… until the boat sank.
He found himself on an island with no other people, no supplies, nothing, only bananas and coconuts.
After about four months, he was lying on the beach one day, when the most gorgeous woman he has ever seen rowed up to the shore. In disbelief, he asked her, “Where did you come from? How did you get here?”
She said, “I rowed from the other side of the island. I landed here when my cruise ship sank.”
“Amazing,” he said. “You were really lucky to have a row boat wash up with you.”
“Oh, this?” the woman said. “I made the boat out of raw material I found on the island. The oars were whittled from gum tree branches. I wove the bottom from palm branch and the sides and stern came from a eucalyptus tree.”
“But, where did you get the tools?”
“Oh, that was no problem,” the woman said. “On the south side of the island, a very unusual stratum of alluvial rock is exposed. I found if I fired it to a certain temperature in my kiln, it melted into forgeable, ductile iron. I used that for tools and used the tools to make the hardware.”
The guy was stunned. “Let’s row over to my place,” she said.
After a few hours of rowing, she docked the boat at a small wharf. As the man looked to shore, he nearly fell out off the boat. Before him was a stone walk leading to an exquisite bungalow painted in blue and white.
While the woman tied up the rowboat with an expertly woven hemp 20 rope, the man could only stare ahead, dumb struck.
As they walked into the house, she said casually, “It’s not much, but I call it home. Sit down, please. Would you like a drink?”
“No. No, thank you,” he said, still dazed. “Can’t take any more coconut juice.”
“It’s not coconut juice,” the woman said. “I have a still. How about a pina colada?”
Trying to hide his continued amazement, the man accepted, and they sat down on her couch to talk. After they had exchanged their stories, the woman said, “I’m going to slip into something more comfortable. Would you like to take a shower and shave? There is a razor in the bathroom cabinet.”
No longer questioning anything, the man went into the bathroom. There, in the cabinet, was a razor made from a bone handle. Two shells honed to a hollow ground edge were fastened onto its end inside a swivel mechanism. “This woman is amazing,” he mused. “What next?”
When he returned, she greeted him wearing nothing but vines and flowers strategically positioned, and smelling of gardenias.
She beckoned for him to sit down next to her! “Tell me,” she began suggestively, slithering closer to him, “We’ve been out here for a really long time. You’ve been lonely. There’s something I’m sure you really feel like doing right now, something you’ve been longing for all these months?”
She stares into his eyes and takes his hand in hers…
He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He swallowed excitedly, tears started to form in his eyes, and he said, “You mean… I can check my e-mail from here?”